Spice up the World Cup

Derrick Simpson, June 13

As most of you know the World Cup kicked off yesterday. If you’re anything like me, you’d rather watch paint dry than a bunch of hooligans chasing a ball for international glory. Worry not bored American, for that’s a problem of the past. I’ve created three soccer themed games that will surely have you blowing a Vuvuzela and pretending you know who Suarez or whoever is.

Soccer on the Street

Before playing this game make sure you have your favourite team’s kit (JERSEY) and a cheap pair of cleats. Stand outside your local Police station. When a civilian passes bump into him and fall over. Channel your inner soccer player and create some tears while faking an injury. Play until the referee (policeman) gives the player (civilian) a red card (criminal record)!

Looks we have a winner folks!

Looks we have a winner folks!

 

The Brazil Experience

Get a spray tan and wax your entire body. Then go to your arts and crafts table (I know you have one) and make a protest sign using your fanciest of glitters and colours. Turn the TV onto the World Cup and stand outside your house . Proceed to yell and complain about how much the tournament costs and how the money should be used somewhere else. Bonus points if the neighbours call the cops!

Extra points for concealing identity!

Extra points for concealing identity!

Is he faking?

While watching the World Cup with friends (be careful not to gouge your eyes out) argue over if a player is faking an injury or not (he OBVIOUSLY is!). Make sure your cleats are on because winner gets to kick the loser in the shin!

kick

Nothing better than a good ol’ fashion shin kick.

Hopefully, you can all enjoy soccer just a little bit more now. Or at least these games will help you tolerate it.

Like what you saw? Don’t like soccer? Leave a comment below!

Derrick Simpson, All day Sportz

 

The NHL’s Latest Epidemic

 

Derrick Simpson, May 14

The NHL has a full fledged crisis on their hands. It all started with Corey Perry and Jeff Carter, after that Shawn Thorton and PK Subban, and then King Henrik himself took a cheap shot at a down and out Sidney Crosby. No I’m not talking headshots or insensitive chirping. This issue is much more serious and dangerous. The barbaric deed I am daring to speak of is the act of squirting water at an opponent or his equipment. It’s dangerous, it’s unsportsmanlike and it has to stop.

Matt Dunham/The Associated Press Maybe Hank was still holding a grudge from this?

Matt Dunham/The Associated Press
Maybe Hank was still holding a grudge from this?

Continue reading

Weekend wind down: 5 NHL players most like Star Wars Characters

Derrick Simpson, May the 4th

To celebrate national Star Wars day, this week’s Weekend Wind Down is counting down the top 5 NHL players most like Star Wars characters.

 5.Brent Burns

USATSI

USATSI

This is the easiest and perhaps most common on the list. The San Jose Sharks forward and NHL foundation player award nominee is most like Chewbacca. They are both extremely hairy and if either of them gave me a dirty look, I’d run away like a chicken with it’s head cut off.

brent-burnschewbacca

If I didn’t know any better I would think that these two were brothers!

4.Alex Ovechkin

hockeyworldblog.com

hockeyworldblog.com

Last year’s Hart trophy winner and the only player to score 50 (or more) goals this season, actually has quite a lot in common with a Stormtrooper. Stormtroopers are known for running around wildly and shooting at anything that moves. While, this year Ovi was a -35 and took a league leading 386 shots!

ovenckinStorm1-vd

 

Although they may seem skilled in their respective fields, they are both extremely over-rated.

3.David Clarkson

clarkson

Claus Anderson/Getty Images

The Maple Leafs forward had a very disappointing season (reviewed in my article on David Clarkson, visible here:https://alldaysportz.wordpress.com/2014/04/26/no-where-to-go-but-up-for-clarkson/ ) and that makes him most like Star Wars character Jar Jar Binks. I’m not saying David Clarkson is a bad player or that I don’t like him. But, after this season Clarkson is being seen useless and with a near 6 million dollar cap hit most people want him out of Toronto (Just like Jar Jar in Star Wars!).

davidjar jar

Me sa think a they look a same!

2.Dustin Byfulien

164906641_std

jets.nhl.com

I wouldn’t go as far as calling Dustin Byfuglien fat, but since he came in at 302lbs at the end of Winnipeg’s season in 2013, he certainly isn’t petite. That means he and Jabba the Hutt have something in common. They are both the most overweight people in their fields!

big buffjabba

 

They call him Big Buff for a reason.

1. Jaromir Jagr 

jagr

The Devil’s leading scorer of this past season is 42 years old and just signed a one year extension with the New Jersey Devils. The Masterson Trophy nominee is incredibly old for an NHLer and that puts him in the same category as Master Yoda. Both of them are skilled, respected, and have tons of experience.

mulletyoda

 

The force is strong with this one!

Like what you read? Think I’m absolutely crazy? Leave a comment below!

See last week’s wind down on goalie masks here: https://alldaysportz.wordpress.com/2014/04/27/weekend-wind-down-top-5-goalie-masks/

All stats are courtesy of nhl.com

Derrick Simpson, All Day Sportz

 

Game Breakers: Pittsburgh Penguins

 

Derrick Simpson May 2

Today’s 4th and final Game Breakers covers the Pittsburgh Penguins, who take on the New York Rangers tonight at 7 PM eastern. Find out who will make the biggest difference for the Pens and why.

pittsburgh

 

 

Cardboard Brooks Orpik

Opposing players tremble in fear when cardboard Orpik line up for a hit

Opposing players tremble in fear when cardboard Orpik lines up for a hit.

   This guy does everything: Blocks shots, gets in the shooting lanes, even stands his ground on opposing players. The paper defender is a real coaches guy too, he’s never even talked back to one!

Being the team player that he is cardboard Cardboard Brooks  lays down to block a shot in practice. Not even a game, A PRACTICE!

Being the team player that he is  Cardboard Brooks lays down to block a shot in practice. Not even a game, A PRACTICE!

For those who don’t know the real Brooks Orpik is injured and the Penguins used a cardboard version of him in a practice as a joke. The rest of the article will be serious… I promise!

Sidney Crosby

The Hart trophy favourite had his fair share of struggles in round one. He was held goalless, seemed quite frustrated by Brandon Dubinsky’s antics at times and was even put on a line with Russian superstar Evgeni Malkin in an attempt to heat up the two. He faced adversity in round one, but there is no doubt in my mind that the Cole Harbour, NS native will bounce back. He is the best player in the world and always seems to come through when it matters most.

At the age of 26 Crosby already has a Stanley Cup and two Olympic Gold medals. Too bad he can't grow a playoff beard.

At the age of 26 Crosby already has a Stanley Cup and two Olympic Gold medals. Too bad he can’t grow a playoff beard.

Evgeni Malkin

The 6’3″ Russian centre lead all Penguins forwards with 7 points in the first round, including a hat-trick in game 6 versus Columbus. Malkin is extremely dangerous and always seems to up his game for the playoffs (he won the Conn Smythe for best playoff performer in 2009). If he can carry the momentum from last series to round 2 he will surely be a handful for the Rangers.

 

blackandgoldworld.blogspot.com Geno Malkin will be hoping to add to his 3 GENOS from the first round

blackandgoldworld.blogspot.com
Geno Malkin will be hoping to add to his 3 GENOS from the first round

Marc Andre Fleury

For the past couple years it seems no one has believed in Fleury (including himself) come springtime. I believe this is his bounce back playoff year. Aside from game 4 in Columbus (fluke 3rd period goal, weak overtime goal) I thought that Fleury played well. It seems like he is slowly regaining his confidence, hopefully for Dan Bylsma Penguin’s this happens sooner rather than later.

Fleury will be hoping to prove his doubters wrong in round 2

Too bad Fleury won’t be this arrogant versus the Rangers

Like what you read? Think I’m a bit off? Leave a comment below!

All stats are courtesy of nhl.com

See yesterday’s Game Breakers about the Rangers here: http://wp.me/p4zyyB-5P

Derrick Simpson, All day Sportz

 

Gamebreakers: Montreal Canadiens

Derrick Simpson April 29

The Montreal Canadiens will need everything they have and then some to take down the Big Bad Bruins. Here’s who they’ll need to step up the most and why:

nhlwallpapers10.net

nhlwallpapers10.net

Brendan Gallagher

The pesky Right Winger will be responsible for attempting to throw Vezina front runner Tukka Rask off his game. The Edmonton native will to go up against Zdeno Chara and the rest of the Bruins young but strong defense corps. If Montreal can consistently beat Rask during the series, Gallagher will receive credit.

habseyesontheprize.com Gallagher's play infront of the net will be crucial for Montreal's success

habseyesontheprize.com
Gallagher’s play infront of the net will be crucial for Montreal’s success.

PK Subban

If the Habs’ struggling power play (15.4%) is to have any success against the Bruins dominant penalty kill (90%) they will need Subban and his dangerous shot. The 6 foot defenseman was a force with the extra man during the season, racking up 23 points on the powerplay.

mtlblog.com Subban will need to return to his 2013 Norris Trophy winning form.

mtlblog.com
Subban will need to return to his 2013 Norris Trophy winning form.

Carey Price

Carey Price (4-0) will have to stand on his head for Montreal, especially because he will be going up against Finnish Superstar Tukka Rask. Price will certainly have to be on top of his game to shut down Boston’s strong forwards and their schorching powerplay.

 

olympic.ca Carey Price already has an Olympic gold medal. Can he add a Stanley Cup to his resume?

olympic.ca
Carey Price already has an Olympic gold medal. Can he add a Stanley Cup to his resume?

Key to winning 

The Canadiens will need to play a fast-paced skilled game in order to beat the Bruins. The can’t afford to get sucked in to playing Boston’s physical style.

Weakness

Montreal’s special teams will be a huge worry for Michelle Therrien. Their power play and PK struggled in the first round (15.4% and 71.4%, respectively), and the B’s have arguably the best special teams units in the league. In addition, unless Alex Galchenyuk returns from a lower body injury, the Habs will have trouble containing Boston’s forwards down low.

Like what you saw? Think another player may be more important to the Habs? Leave a comment below!

All stats are courtesy of nhl.com

Derrick Simpson, All Day Sportz

Weekend Wind Down: Top 5 Goalie Masks

Derrick Simpson, April 27

Every Sunday on All Day Sportz I write a countdown. This week I am ranking the Top 5 Goalie Masks of All-Time

 

5. Eddie Belfour

 

 

belfour

The 2011 Hockey Hall of fame inductee comes in at #5 for his signature eagle mask. The design even earned the Manitoba native the nickname “Eddie the Eagle”

Blackhawks backup goalie Antti Raanta loved the mask so much he donned a Belfour tribute mask for the Stadium Series game at Soldier field

raanta

Those pads are pretty sweet too!

 

4.Brian Hayward

other hay

Although he only played 25 games with the Sharks over 2 seasons, this mask painted by Don Straus was extremely creative as no one had seen anything like it before.

3.Jacques Plante

plante

It may not be much to look at, but Jacques Plante makes #3 for being the first NHL goalie to wear a mask during a game. During the first period of a game versus the New York Rangers on November 1st 1959 Plante took a shot to the face by Rangers forward Andy Bathgate. The Montreal goalie got stitched up and 21 minutes later he returned to play, this time wearing a mask. The Canadiens went on to win the game 3-1 and although many people didn’t agree with it Jacques continued to wear his mask and other soon followed.

2.Gilles Gratton

gilles

 

“Grattony The Loony” comes runner up for his masked based on the Leo astrological sign. Some people said that Gratton would growl at other players on the ice during games; he was well known for his crazy personality.

1.Gerry Cheevers

cheevers

Gerry Cheevers wore what was  arguably the most recognizable mask ever, and it looked like something that came straight out of a horror movie. Every time Cheevers took a puck to the mask a new stitch mark was painted on. The iconic mask now sits on the wall of his grandson’s bedroom.

In 2002 Steve Shields would pay tribute to the two-time Stanley Cup winner  with a modern Cheevers mask.

 

shields

Like what you saw? Think i left someone out? Leave a comment below!

 

Derrick Simpson, All Day Sportz