Spice up the World Cup

Derrick Simpson, June 13

As most of you know the World Cup kicked off yesterday. If you’re anything like me, you’d rather watch paint dry than a bunch of hooligans chasing a ball for international glory. Worry not bored American, for that’s a problem of the past. I’ve created three soccer themed games that will surely have you blowing a Vuvuzela and pretending you know who Suarez or whoever is.

Soccer on the Street

Before playing this game make sure you have your favourite team’s kit (JERSEY) and a cheap pair of cleats. Stand outside your local Police station. When a civilian passes bump into him and fall over. Channel your inner soccer player and create some tears while faking an injury. Play until the referee (policeman) gives the player (civilian) a red card (criminal record)!

Looks we have a winner folks!

Looks we have a winner folks!

 

The Brazil Experience

Get a spray tan and wax your entire body. Then go to your arts and crafts table (I know you have one) and make a protest sign using your fanciest of glitters and colours. Turn the TV onto the World Cup and stand outside your house . Proceed to yell and complain about how much the tournament costs and how the money should be used somewhere else. Bonus points if the neighbours call the cops!

Extra points for concealing identity!

Extra points for concealing identity!

Is he faking?

While watching the World Cup with friends (be careful not to gouge your eyes out) argue over if a player is faking an injury or not (he OBVIOUSLY is!). Make sure your cleats are on because winner gets to kick the loser in the shin!

kick

Nothing better than a good ol’ fashion shin kick.

Hopefully, you can all enjoy soccer just a little bit more now. Or at least these games will help you tolerate it.

Like what you saw? Don’t like soccer? Leave a comment below!

Derrick Simpson, All day Sportz

 

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Tito Vilanova passes away.

It would only be right for our first soccer topic to be Tito Vilanova.

The former Barcelona coach passed away friday, having lost his bout with throat cancer, he was only 45 years old. The club released a statement on friday afternoon, and reactions soon came from all over the football world.

Arch-rivals Real Madrid released a statement stating their support for Barcelona. Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho – who infamously gouged Vilanova’s eye in a meeting between Barcelona and Real-Madrid- sent his support to Vilanova’s family in a press conference.  “Tito Vilanova’s passing is a sad day for football, for Barcelona and most importantly for his family and friends. On behalf of everybody at Chelsea Football Club I send my
deepest condolences at this most difficult time.

The most touching messages came from the Barcelona players themselves.

“I’m speechless. You have been and will be always an example. I will never forget you” Said Barce midfielder Andres Iniesta.

“Tito Vilanova, one of the best coaches I had in my career. Thanks for everything you gave us” – Victor Valdes, Barce goaltender

“Thanks for everything Tito. May your soul rest in peace,”- Midfielder Alex Song

Image

( Tito Vilanova, Pictured above, died yesterday of throat cancer)

 

Francesc ” Tito” Vilanova was an integral part of the Barcelona squad that won 14 titles. He served as an assistant to Pep Guardiola
from 2008 until 2012, when he took over the reins. In his first season season he won the league title and made it to the champions
league semi-finals. He planned to continue coaching but was forced to step down a month before the 2013-2014 began because is
cancer had  relapsed and it was no longer possible for him to manage. Tito is survived by his wife Montse, daugther Carlota and son Adrià.

He  will be missed.

 

Andrew Brennan, All day sportz